Fertility: Expectation Vs Reality

How to increase your chances of getting pregnant

I didn’t plan on doing a post like this anytime soon but this came highly requested by multiple people so I felt like I had to assist and educate as yours truly The Millenni-Mom.

A couples fertility journey can be a rough one and it has been a taboo subject for so long. Every couple has their journey to parenthood and whatever your journey may be it is your choice and your business.

I am merely here to show you ways that I have found success in trying to get pregnant and trying NOT to get pregnant. I have found that it really just takes being knowledgeable about the process and understanding that these things take time and you are not alone in whatever stage of the journey you are on. These are the expectations and realities of increasing your chances of getting pregnant.

Expectation: You’ll get pregnant quickly

As teenage girls, we spent 50% of our lives trying NOT to get pregnant. We have been programmed to think it is so easy to get pregnant. If a male touches you one good time, that’s it your done, your going to have a baby. Unfortunately, when you’re actually trying to have a baby, it’s not that simple.

Reality: It can take up to a year for a healthy couple to get pregnant

This is especially true if you were previously on birth control. The pill takes at least a month to clear your system and other forms of birth control such as the depo shot can take up to a year to leave your system.

According to med-health.net “Once you stop using birth control pills, the hormone levels take some time to adjust and to start functioning normally without the effect of the pills.” Therefore if you are really trying to get pregnant it is easy to give up after a few months but it is recommended to try for a year before seeking medical interventions.

Expectation: If you can’t get pregnant there must be something wrong with the woman

As a woman, I know first hand it is easy to blame ourselves. We have been given a special gift of bringing life into the world and we think we are solely responsible for this task, but we’re not!

Reality: There could be an issue with the man

Men are not off the hook for ensuring that they are mentally and physically prepared for the fertility journey. There can be many issues with their sperm or functionality of their reproductive system. If you have been trying for a while to get pregnant and nothing seems to be working, you should take him to get checked to rule out any issues on the male part.

Expectation: You can get pregnant anytime anywhere

Going back to the teenage years we thought we could get pregnant anytime of the month, no day was safe. We swore we knew everything about our body and if we were one day late we just knew we were pregnant. Boy, were we wrong!

Reality: There is a very small window of time each month you could get pregnant

I don’t think I ever really understood my body and the way my reproductive system worked until I realized I wasn’t getting pregnant as easily as I always thought I would. The female body is so complex you really have to delve in to know what is going on in order to increase your chances of getting pregnant.

There is a short amount of time in every cycle that an egg can be fertilized, this is known as “ovulation”. Everyone’s period of ovulation is different but it is usually a 3-5 day period before menstruation. Some women still ovulate even if they don’t have a period. It is ONLY in that window of time that you can get pregnant.

This is important because if you spend your energy trying to get pregnant the other 20 or so days of the month you will get exhausted very quickly! You should focus your energy on those vital days to reap the best results.

Download an ovulation app such as Ovia that will tell you your most fertile days. Have sex at least every other day during that time period. Sperm can live in the body up to three days so it is really not necessary to have sex every single day (unless you want to ?)

Expectation: You don’t need to know anything about your cycle or body to get pregnant

The idea we are shown on tv and social media is just have a lot of sex and you will get pregnant. That simple right? For some couples it is that simple.

We all know that one couple that had sex one time and got pregnant or the newlyweds who had sex on their honey moon and came back with a baby announcement, but clearly we are not them, or you probably wouldn’t be reading this article right now.

We are the ones who have to do a little bit of work to get that first baby or second baby and the most important thing is to know your body.

Reality: It is important to know your body and cycle

There are aids, apps, and google to help you understand your body and to get pregnant faster. We have technology to do the grunt work for us these days and you should utilize it to the fullest. Apps such as Ovia, Baby Center, and Flo. All you do is fill out the survey and it will give you a calendar of your cycle and help you keep track of your most fertile days.

Another helpful aid is what we call OPK’s (ovulation predictor kits) These are little strips that collect a urine sample and tell you what days you ovulate and what day you are most fertile. Click here for the ones I used. These are very inexpensive but they work miracles!

Expectation: Just keep trying one thing and eventually it will work

I’m pretty sure this is the definition of insanity. Keep doing the same thing over and over looking for different results. Unfortunately there are things that don’t work like that and this is one of them. Your body thrives off of variety and change. There is no one way to get pregnant and you should be open to try multiple avenues too success.

Reality: You have to try multiple aids, positions, and strategies

Don’t just use that one app. Each fertility app has different algorithms to track your cycle and ovulation, so if one doesn’t seem to work or its not matching up to the OPK, try another one!

Some people have issues with the predictor kits, if you don’t like the one that worked for me there are plenty of other ones. Click here to see other options. Don’t stick to one position. Many woman have success in the missionary position, but others tend better in doggystyle.

Keep switching it up! Quick tip: After sex, raise your hips and lay on your back for at least five minutes before getting up. Some swimmers are slower than others and need extra time to reach the egg. Try different strategies!

Everyone has that girlfriend that says if you twist your ankles over your head while doing a handstand against the wall you’ll get pregnant instantly. Why not try it? You have nothing to lose and you should have fun with it and try to reduce your stress level as much as possible.

Expectation: I can do whatever I want with my body and still have a high chance of getting pregnant

When you’re a young and thriving millennial such as myself, you think your invincible in the sense that you can do what you want with your body and it wont fail you. You can eat what you want, not work out, be stressed out, and smoke and drink as you please.

Reality: Your body is a vessel, you have to nurture it and keep it healthy in order to have the highest chances of getting pregnant (including males).

If you  get nothing else from this article, please understand that you have to create an environment condusive for a baby. Some women have extenuating circumstances which makes them infertile no matter what they do, but some of us are walking around drinking, smoking, stressed, and unhealthy wondering why we cant get pregnant.

When you are going through a fertility journey minimize things that are not healthy to your body and put added stress on your system. Being stressed makes it that much more difficult to get pregnant! The healthier you are and the more calm and relaxed you are, the higher your chances of getting pregnant. You can also try taking multi vitamins or prenatal vitamins to increase nutritional value. Click here for the ones I used.

This goes for the males as well! Your partner must commit to the process. This is very important! This is a great supplement pack for men and women. Click here! He must eat right and minimize drugs/alcohol and stress. Again, stress is a fertility killer! His contribution is conducive to the overall fertility and it should not be taken lightly. There are certain foods and drinks he can consume to boost his sperm count and keep them healthy.

Expectation: I don’t need any support, I can do it on my own

Women are the strongest force on this planet. We think we can do everything ourselves and don’t need any help. As I said before fertility is a taboo subject that has just recently came to light after celebrities and other mothers have spoken out about their fertility journeys. Now, there are so many resources and support available to help guide you through the tough times.

Reality: Join a group with the same goals as you

Fertility can be very very draining. You can feel very isolated and misunderstood. Don’t give into it. There are many groups of woman and men that can be supportive when you feel alone.

There are people available to lift you up and celebrate you in your accomplishments. You can easily find groups like this on facebook. The groups I would recommend are Moms In the Making, Trying to Conceive, and Trying to Conceive and Pregnancy Support These groups are great to talk to like minded people and ask questions without being judged.

You can also join groups on apps such as Glow or Flo. I learned so much from the other woman on these forums that I would not have known otherwise. I highly recommend finding other people who are going through the same struggle as you, it can be very rewarding.

Expectation: If I lost a pregnancy I shouldn’t try again

Miscarriages can be really scary. You can feel completely defeated after going through such a traumatic experience. Your first thought is, maybe my body isn’t made to carry a child? Maybe I’m doing something wrong? I don’t want to try again.

Reality: You are most susceptible to getting pregnant after you have already had a pregnancy

Though it is probably the absolute last time you want to have a baby; after you have been pregnant is the highest chance of time to get pregnant again. Sometimes things just happen, there are numerous woman who carry a baby full term after having multiple miscarriages, you just have to have the courage to try again!

Of course you want to get the ok from your doctor as everyone’s circumstances are different, but if you are able to, try again as soon as possible because your body is already in the state to be fertilized.

Expectation: My partner doesn’t need to know what’s going on.

I know so many women that say their men are not cooperating in the fertility journey and they don’t understand what they are going through. We think men are good for nothing except sperm, (which is debatable) but that’s not the case. They need to be informed of the fertility process if they are to cooperate.

Reality: Make sure your spouse is knowledgeable about the fertility journey

Team work makes the dream work. This couldn’t be anymore true in fertility. You and your partner have to be on the same page in order to be successful. Men need an explanation of what they are doing and why they are doing it if you want them to be a team player.

They can also be a great support system if you confide in them and work towards the greater goal. We can’t expect them to just know what is going on with our body and what they can do to make the experience more bearable as well as do their part to increase the chances of achievement.

Just remember to be patient with your body and the process. Try to have fun and be as stress free as possible. Communicate with your partner and others that are going through the same thing as you. I hope this gave you more realistic expectations. If there is something I missed that helped you get pregnant or you have any questions, leave them in the comments below.

 

If you are pregnant or just gave birth, congratulations! Check out my article 5 Newborn Essentials You Can Never Have Enough Of.

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